Church Bulletin Number 57, “Why It Takes So Long”

As you know, I am all about service to the Sam Heughan/Outlander fandom.  When Starz announced that Outlander, Season 3 wouldn’t be aired until September, 2017,  I knew I had to dig deeper.  Like all of you, I was wondering why it takes so long to get 13 stinking episodes ready for TV?  After all, the last episode was aired in June of 2016.  Ron D. Moore said they were already working on Season 3 for a while, so it looks like it will take at least 18 months to get this show on the road!   Cecille B. DeMille filmed “The Ten Commandments” in less time (or so I was told when I met with him to finally discuss my close up).  

Seriously, though, let’s put this in perspective.  From design to completion, it took 20 years to build the Step Pyramid of Djoser.  (Yes, I think this is the same Pillsbury Doughboy name as in the original Ghostbusters!)    It took one year and 45 days to build the Empire State Building.    It takes 9 months for a human baby to gestate. It takes about 6 months to build a 2,300 square foot home.   It amazes me that something like 13 television episodes could take so long to complete! 

There had to be a reason, so I began my research.   Over a period of 60 days, I found some answers.  Mostly I made them up to entertain the fandom, but I’ll bet I hit the head on the nail as a drunken Anastasia Steele says to Christian Grey in 50 Shades part one!  (I never said I was above plagiarism.)  The more my ideas flowed, the more I believed that they could be true. 


The first thing I did was look at all of the different departments that work on Outlander.  The cast and crew is vast!  


 I won’t belabor that my “The Making of Outlander Season 3”  series was underappreciated or misunderstood.  Here is the entire set of memes for your edification.  Caution:  Viewing more than 50 memes in one setting can have potential side effects like night blindness, eczema, mild diarrhea, nervous tics, incoherent babbling and gas (not really). 

I really loved those microphones!


I love the way Starz made Outlander in the Caribbean look so much different than Black Sails!  It’s amazing!

Who can forget the “Blue Light Special”?



I never realized how much action  takes place behind the cameras!


I wonder if I’ve been too hard on Fraaaank?   Nope, Nope, don’t think so!


I really enjoyed my birthday!



My Shakespeare phase…..

Sometimes, she just makes it too easy.  Love ya’, Terry!


I was feeling the strain of keeping this series going.  I was running out of things to make up!  I decided to take a vacation.  



I returned with renewed enthusiasm. Then I realized that even though shooting had ended,  we still had to wait……..


Then the cast and crew of Outlander went on their vacations which gave me fodder for further fantasies (Ahem, now that is alliteration at its finest! I wonder how many more “F” words I know?).

A few fantasy pick-up shots were made to finalize the production.

And then the voice of a child reached out to the fandom and me…..


And that is when I quit.  Yes, I walked away from it all.   No Twitter, No Facebook….nothing.   I was tired of waiting and whining.  I pulled the menopausal meme card again by recognizing that I was all dried up and Starz was not giving me much to work with! 

So, I made an Elvis exit (notice the cape)!


I know that the fandom treasures these books and the series.  But someone actually chastised me for planning to make fun of Season 3!  Have they not noticed the past 400 memes I have made or read any of the Church Bulletins?  I love this story, but if anyone ever thought I wouldn’t make fun of anything and everything….they don’t know Norma D and cannot be saved!  Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!  Lighten up!

I’ve taken a break and am ready to start the snark again.  A quick trip to the local hospital for a snark infusion has improved my outlook.  


Season 3 is up and running, and I have some new material with which to work (Thanks Starz)! I plan to make snarky recaps soon.  In addition, I am going back to clean up some earlier work for CoH that I did when I didn’t know what I was doing!  Thank goodness I know what I’m doing now, don’t I?