Outlander Not Your Usual Emmys for Everything Part DEUX

 

CoH received so many comments and suggestions for the Outlander Not Your Usual Emmys for Everything , I determined a sequel was needed.  Sit back and relax, I don’t want to have to do Part 3.  Feel free to take a break while reading. 

Will this Emmy list ever end.  Where is Kristin Dos Santos when I need her?

Emmy for a Dead Weight LIft With a Split Postion goes to Sam and Cait (Dishonorably submitted by BoolaBeulah.)  There was a difficulty level of 5.  Their coupling scored a 10.

Cait, did you put on some weight? No, Sam, are you spending too much time in the make up chair? Kiss me you fool!

Emmy for Quick Time Spiral Spin goes to Sam (dishonorably submitted by Adso the Cheetie). Difficulty factor of 8.  He scored a 9 because he slipped out a little during the turn.  Claire was not affected since she just had to hang on and got the benefit of the pelvic thrust upon landing.

Great landing Sam! Right on target! You made it look easy!

Emmy for Best Sibling Fight goes to Laura and Sam.(Dishonorably submitted by Sharon Kay)  The ballocks threat was the deciding factor for this award.  Judges did take a point off because she didn’t actually follow through on the threat.

My wife loves my ballocks, so ye’ll not be bruising the merchandise!

Emmy for Best Time Travel Cover Up goes to Claire (Dishonorably submitted by Sharon Kay).  When Mrs. Fitz asks Claire about her strange modern bra, Claire says “It’s French” which seems to explain everything!  I wonder if that could work today.  Me Oui!  I believe it could!

Emmy for Best Performance as a Cute Party Girl goes to Mrs. Fitz. It is clear that the old girl had some fun in her day from the s–t comment to Murtaugh, the obvious dig toward the competition (Herself) at the Gathering, and the way she loves to partay!  You go girl!

You smell like s–t, Murtaugh, but I would still like a roll in the hay after ye finish breakfast!

LET’S BOOGIE!

Emmy for Best Cold Water Scene goes to the OL Writers (last one was for costuming) (dishonorably submitted by BevH111).  Not only was it titillating (but never gratuitous),  his c–k didn’t break off!   

I’m happy to say, my cock didn’t break off!  (I held on for dear life!)

Emmy for Best Laughing Scene(dishonorably submitted by BevH11) goes to Laura , who if BJR’s ego had not already been “deflated”, her laugh would have done so. 

I’m not laughing at you Captain Randall…oh wait, I am.

Emmy for Best Line for a Short Scottish Man goes to the OL writers.(Dishonorably submitted by Sharon Kay) Angus says, “Does anything catch your eye, lass?” as he stands over Claire to show what’s under his kilt. 

Emmy for Best Repelling Down a Wall in a Kilt goes to Sam (dishonorably submitted by katruaidh)   No rope burns or xxx exposure resulted. 

Oooh-Oooh-Oooh-Oooh- Crack!
Why didna I wear my breeks?

Emmy for Best Dynamic Duo Since Batman and Robin goes to Rupert and Angus..(Dishonorably submitted by Sharon Kay)

I want to be Batman this time, Rupert!

Emmy for Cockiest Walk goes to Jamie.  We were all wondering if the modesty pouch would fall off as he went down the stairs.

I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my boots, I’m too sexy!

Emmy for Best Delivery of an Euphemism for Swiving goes to Dougal (dishonorably submitted by BevH111)  “The thought of grinding your corn tickles me!”

Emmy for The Wedding Planners of Outlander goes to Jamie, Dougal, Angus Rupert, Ned and Willie. (Dishonorably submitted by Sharon K) Not only did they get a priest, a church, a dress, a ring, a kilt, a wedding feast and a honeymoon suite, they did it in a day! 

 

Emmy for Most Sensitive Deflowering Ever goes to Claire.  She didn’t make him feel bad cause the first time was “Gone in 60 Seconds”.  She didn’t gripe because he left his shirt and boots on.  She didn’t laugh when he offered to help with her “laces and such” even though she’d been dressing and undressing herself for some time. (Where was he when she had to undo all those buttons on the wedding gown like in the book?) She did laugh that he thought you did it from behind like horses, which was strange since you can do it that way.  Anyway, she was very sweet to him.

Another snappy pick up line!

The pearls are very precious to me. As are you, Claire!

Now a very personal award to the reason we have a Church of Heughanology where Heughanologists can be free to express their adoration of all that is Sam Heughan.  Seriously, Sam deserves an Emmy just for coping humorously, gracefully and humbly with a brutal, invasive, silly, adoring, crazy, complicated fandom (especially like me who makes a snarky blog around his looks, life and activities which is not based in fact, only in my insanely insulting mind).  Fondly, Norma D

We are so lucky to be fans of a true gentleman.